Friday, November 16, 2007

Dear Kentucky

Dear Kentucky,

First of all let me say it was nothing personal in beating you on October 20th, purely business. I’m sure you understand. I hope you will also understand if we ask a favor of you. As far as favors go, it is one that is mutually beneficial, so we are certain you won’t mind.

Please beat Georgia.

Obviously our request is somewhat self interested, but we know you are up to the task. After all, you did beat them last year. Plus, we still think you have one of the best quarterbacks in the SEC. And you managed to beat vaunted LSU. Surely Georgia is well within your grasp.

And think of the implications! The ‘Cats have one of their best records in memory at 7-3. Win the last 2, and a 9-3 record is going to get you invited to a tasty bowl, probably on New Year’s Day. Win that bowl, and you are looking at a 10 win season, and some respectable final ranking. What a way to send Woodson off the NFL.

If your own interest isn’t enough, how about the good name of the SEC? Georgia has evidently decided they are the new Miami, with their logo stomping, excessive celebrations and new proclivity for personal fouls and unsportsmanlike like conduct penalties (3 such fouls in the first half against Auburn alone). Did you see that defensive player from Georgia strutting like a scene from the “The Best Days of Da U” home video? (The Refs sure did) What’s next, camouflage pants?

(Plus, there is a reliable rumor that Richt plans to send the whole team on the field when they get their initial first down against you, and Stafford plans to take off his shirt in a Brandi Chastain like celebration. Don’t let it happen!)

Georgia stands at 8-2, and if you beat them, you will have equal records at 8-3. You win, and UGA won’t be going to the SEC Championship game, where who knows what insane celebrations Richt has planned. (Reliable rumors have tales of donkey rides and cheap Chinese fireworks. I shudder at the thought)

Of course, beating Georgia will improve Florida’s chances of getting to Atlanta (Tennessee will still be leading), but surely you wouldn’t lose a game just to stop us from representing the SEC, would you? We promise to act respectful if we go. And remember, Spurrier doesn’t’ coach here anymore, so you can’t hate us that much.

It seems that our fates are suddenly intertwined. So go beat Georgia like the Dawgs they are!

After that, if you want to beat Tennessee, feel free to do that also. Remember, they have the nation’s longest winning streak over you right now.

Yours truly,

The Gators.


Senator Blutarsky said...

Not gonna happen, my friend. The Gators are on the outside looking in for the SECCG this year.

Which is fine, because I don't want anything getting in the way of a potential Florida-Illinois bowl game.

ALGator said...

Well writen, Mergz.

Go Wildcats!

Mergz said...

Blutarsky -

I fear you are probably right on this one, but misguided hope dies hard.

I don't see how they stop you running all over them.

As for the UF-ILL game, should I register right now?

JJ Gator said...

With the way this season's been going this year, ANYTHING can happen.

As well as our Gators, I'll be rooting for Kentucky AND Vanderbilt this weekend. I'm not giving up hope just yet.

And give me Michigan against our Gators in a bowl game - we have business to settle with them after the 2002 Outback Bowl and all their whining over the NC game last year. Ron Zook can kiss my ass!

Anonymous said...

Oh NOW you guys think Georgia is classless.

Where was all this when they were beating the Gators? Oh that's right, Georgia was being defended here then.

My my how the tables have turned...

Henry Gomez said...


You're an idiot. There two writers on this blog. One was offended by Georgia and the other wasn't.

You can guess which one wrote this post. Or maybe you can't.

JJ Gator said...

Kentucky lost to those classless Dawgs; so mich for our SECCG hopes.