Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blog Swap, Auburn Week

The post below comes from Ryan Stephens at The Auburner. This post will remain at the top of the blog throughout Thursday, new posts will appear below it. You can read what Mergz wrote for their site by clicking here.


Taking into account the way that Florida has been playing this year and how well Auburn has been playing so far this year, I don’t really feel like addressing the topic of the talent levels of each team, seeing how Florida put up 59 on Tennessee while at that point in the season Auburn had only accumulated 60 points all season. Yikes. So as usual in these kinds of situations, I judge how the game is going to end up based completely on the mojo levels of each team, *which is essentially what each game comes down to… right? Let us begin:

Auburn on the road: In the past three years, Auburn has gone 11-1 on the road, the only loss being against LSU in which our all-SEC kicker John Vaughn missed 5 field goals, allowing the Bayou Bengals a narrow and *undeserving win. Auburn is a beast on the road, meriting +1 mojo points to Auburn. Florida 0, Auburn 1.

Florida at home: No one likes to play at The Swamp… except I guess for Florida. The Gators haven’t lost in Gainesville since the (pardon my French) R%n Z@#k era. The place is loud and houses a lot of hot chicks. Florida gets +1 mojo points for holding down the fort at home. Florida 1, Auburn 1.

Revenge Factor: Yeaaaah. About that thing last year, it wasn’t that big a deal, was it? Who are we kidding, this is the SEC and it IS a big deal. Auburn has had orange and blue crosshairs on their back for almost a year now. I know that Auburn fans have been thirsting for Arkansas and Georgia blood all winter here on The Plains, I would expect nothing less from any Gator toward Auburn. Mark a +1 mojo point for Florida to take 2-1 mojo point lead.

Returning Stars: Some critical players from each team are likely to make a timely comeback for this late September game. Auburn brings back a sorely missed linebacker Tray Blackmon (remember him?) whom is needed to help try to keep Tim Tebow from rushing for more than 200 yards. Florida hopes to bring back Andre Caldwell whom will likely give Auburn’s sound passing defense even more headaches on top of the ones caused by Percy Harvin. Both teams accrue another +1 mojo point as Florida keeps the lead 3-2.

Overlooking Auburn: How seriously can you possibly take a team that lost to Mississippi State? Teams that lose to Sylvester Croom and company often get filed into the “harmless” category. Most Florida fans will know better, but in the back of all their minds will be, “This is going to be easy.” I knew for a fact that Georgia (they always freakin’ do) was going to bring the pain last season even after losing to Vandy, but we still complacently allowed them to stroll on in and spank us like naughty children. Somehow, the fact that Auburn sucked in their first three games this gains them a +1 mojo point for the likelihood they will be subconsciously underestimated. Tie game: 3-3.

School Colors: Both teams sport a sexy orange and blue. But which one is better? I can’t really tell the difference between the oranges (at least neither is the Tennessee ‘Arrnge’). The blue on the other hand is very discernable. Obviously I prefer the Navy Blue that Auburn sports, but the more and more I wash my blue shirts, the more they drift toward the Gator Blue. Is this a symbolic insinuation that the awesomeness of everything blue slowly shifts toward Gator Blue? Or is that every time my shirt becomes slightly more worthless, it further resembles Florida? **You say ‘tomato’ and I say ‘tomato’ I suppose. Either way, you can’t go wrong with Orange and Blue. Both teams stack up +3 mojo points, the score now tied 6-6.

Uh oh. We have ourselves a mojo tie. ***You know what that means: mascot face off!

Mascot Fight!:
Obviously, * is the primary source for truth in arbitrary arguments. Who would win in a fight: a tiger or a gator? Let’s see what has to say:

“But, that is completely inaccurate. First of all, the tiger is fighting a crocodile. Secondly, the game takes place in a swamp, where a tiger would not stand a chance!” Is that so?

Boo ya! Indisputable evidence is what I call it. Auburn wins the mojo tie-break! See you guys at the game!

*Completely biased opinion
** This phrase doesn’t make sense when typed out
*** Actually, you probably don’t


LeftLeaningLady said...

Amazing that no where in this post was a comment about incomplete passes v. fumbles.

Great post at theauburner though. It gave me a laugh.

Kenny said...

I LOVED Mergz post at the auburner... great imagery! However, I must ask, who was the old man to represent? Hmmm...

Jason said...

Mergz's "article" amuses and entertains me.

The Old Man... hmm... Ray Graves.

Kenny said...

I'll buy that...

John said...

war eagle!