Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Kentucky Fans are Nuts

One might suppose that so many years of domination by the Gator football team over the Wildcats would have driven Kentucky fans insane (especially with so many close misses), but it appears to be the more recent and far briefer success of the Gator basketball team that has driven them off the deep end.

Kentucky has lost a record 6 SEC games in a row to the Gators, dating back to UK’s last win on February 8, 2005 at Lexington. Prior to that time, the Wildcats had essentially owned Florida during the Smith era, with UK having an 11-4 record since the 1997-1998 season.

Now, I don’t want to throw around terms like “loony”, “nutty” or “crazy as a shit house rat” loosely, but in the case of Kentucky fans it might just apply if recent history is any guide.

And I’m not talking about the mere fact that Billy Donovan might end up coaching at Kentucky that makes Wildcat fans so batty. I would even say there is a reasonable chance it happens. It’s the wild rumors that are running around Lexington that makes the diagnosis of insanity seem so correct.

Midnight private planes to Lexington? Donovan’s wife buying a horse farm (or alternatively, shopping for one)? Secret deals being cut?

I mean really folks, the guy was busy preparing for (successfully, I might add) the Final Four. Do you really think he just said to his wife “Hey honey, I’m busy with all this basketball nonsense – grab the nearest jet and fly up to Lexington and buy a horse farm. You pick it out.”

Of course, all these rumors were “a friend of a friend knows a lady who works at a real estate office” type, the sort of rumor mongering that finds a happy home in message boards and blogs. I assumed, for the most part, that was the extent of it.

I was wrong. You see, I have family members who are UK grads and live in Lexington. Normal folks. Smart folks. Not the type to fall for silly rumors, or so I thought.

Until they told me “Well, you know Billy Donovan’s wife comes from Kentucky, don’t you.”

Err, no, I don’t. Because she doesn’t. She comes from Long Island, New York. She attended Providence College, where she met Billy.

Here, maybe this helps.

Only 765 miles off!

See, they really are two different places.

So, evidently Florida’s recent six game winning streak has driven UK fans to madness.

For that, we apologize.

Now, I realize that, under all the apparent loopiness, this really is all about Kentucky pride. Sure, your football team lays down like a Kentucky blue tick hound to have their bellies rubbed whenever they see the Gators, but at least you basketball team put us in our place. That was, until recently.

So, to regain your pride, you have to come after our coach. If you can’t beat him on the hardwood, then lure him away with tales of bluegrass dominance. After all, what better way to neutralize your nemesis than hire him?

Show us that Kentucky basketball is still numero uno.

I get it.

However, you may want to lay a little light on the oh-so-crazy rumors about the mysterious comings and goings of the Donovans. After all, you think they actually might know where they have been. And if they keep hearing strange rumors from UK fans about things that simply aren’t happening, I dare say they might think that all of you are nuts.

Lastly, I know you realize that setting out after Billy Donovan again takes all that vaunted Kentucky pride and wraps it up in one desperate gamble – but what happens if he doesn’t want to come?

What will that say?

In the meantime, it appears you may have to wait awhile to find out. Donovan, it seems, has a preexisting visit to Marshall planned on Wednesday, then a meeting with Foley on Thursday, the National Championship celebration on Friday (remember those?), and then he is off to the Dominican Republic for a week.

So, Kentucky fans, can you keep it cool for the next 12 days or so?

We are starting to worry about you.


Anonymous said...

Often it's said "what goes around comes around" - I really hope Tubby Smith turns Minnesota's basketball program around and eventually gets them back to the Final Four, and that it comes back to bite Kentucky in the ass for having run him out of Lexington.

Gator Duck said...

KY: SEC basketball's answer to Bama football.

Gatorbytes3000 said...

He's not going anywhere, Three in a row...maybe more? Wow, I'm still reeling.