Friday, November 09, 2007

Week 10 Praemium Terribilis

It's time for another belated edition of the Suckies. In week 9 my beloved Gators swept the awards. This week we're spreading the love...

Cumberland Awardnamed in honor of the Cumberland team that took a 220-0 thrashing at the hands of Georgia Tech in 1916, this award honors the team that took the soundest beating of national significance in the past week.

Week 10 Winner – Nebraska

I watched this game as I also watched the UF/Vandy game at the ESPN Zone in Times square. The 76-39 score is deceptive. Kansas could have easily come very close to the century mark if Mangino hadn't called off the dogs. I wouldn't have. I don't think there is such a thing as running up the score when the opponent is a historical score runner-upper. As it was Kansas gained 572 yards on Nebraska. Bill Callahan better have some fireproof pants in his closet because his seat is white hot.

Ron Zook AwardFor the coach who is “always getting better," even if that betterment is not discernable to the rest of us.

Week 10 Winner – Mario Cristobal

Cristobal took over the coaching job at FIU from Don Strock with much fanfare. An alumnus of the University of Miami, Cristobal was supposed to improve the fates of the Golden Panthers but so far that hasn't materialized. FIU will be good some day. But that day was not last Saturday when they lost their 9th game of the season to the Arkansas State Indians (Indians, who knew?).

Ron Powlus AwardGoes to the nationally anointed one and presumptive Heisman candidate that didn’t quite live up to his hype during the past week.

Week 10 Winner – Matt Ryan

The dream is over for Matt Ryan and BC, losing to FSU by a score of 27-17. When Drew Weatherford has a higher passer rating than you, you are automatically disqualified from winning the statue.

Prairie View Awardgiven each week to the specific squad (offense, defense, special teams or otherwise) that distinguishes itself for pure, unadulterated suckiness. The award is named in honor of the Prairie View Panther team that lost a college football record 80 consecutive games during the 1990’s.

Week 10 Winner – Georgia Tech's Offense

The Yellow Jackets were a wreck alright gaining only 271 yards in their 27-3 loss to Virginia Tech. GT QB's completed only 41% of their passes. When their passes weren't falling harmlessly to the ground they were being caught by Hokie defenders who picked off 5 balls.

The Blue AwardNamed after September 1, 2007, the date “everything changed”, this award commemorates the team that overcame enormous odds to their undying detriment, thus losing to a team that they ought to have easily handled.

Week 10 Winner – Notre Dame

As we've pointed out often Notre Dame has taken great pleasure in padding its schedule with the service academies. But it was Anchors away last weekend as Notre Dame goes down to the Midshipmen of Navy in triple overtime.

The Roy Riegels AwardNamed in memory of Cal Bear Roy “Wrong Way” Riegels who while playing in the 1929 Rose Bowl picked up a Georgia Tech fumble and ran for 65 yards – the wrong direction, costing his team the game. This award honors the college football player who committed a blunder of such enormity that it perhaps single-handedly cost his team the game.

Week 10 Winner – Matt Grothe, QB USF

It wasn't a single blunder but the 4 interceptions that did Grothe and the Bulls in during their 33-38 loss to the Bearcats of Cincinnati. The wheels have officially come off of Cinderella's carriage.

Thanks to all of you who went through the effort of putting on your tuxedos. We'll see you next week for another edition of the Suckie Awards.


mlmintampa said...

It has been quite enjoyable watching Grothe drag USF into 3rd place in the state. Time for him to get a haircut.

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't it be "Anchors aweigh", not "Anchors Away"?

Henry Gomez said...

Perhaps, but I'm from an Army family so I wouldn't know about the minutiae of Navy jargon.

JJ Gator said...

Good picks this week, Henry.

Bill Callahan won't resign from Nebraska, but I'll bet Husker Nation is in an uproar. If The fans and boosters have their way, he'll be out of a job at season's end.

If Andy Warhol was right, USF already had their fifteen minutes of fame earlier this season. Matt Grothe, you're no Tim Tebow.

I watched some of the Notre Dame -Air Force game before our game against South Carolina, and the Irish were pathetic. If Charlie Weis thought the service academies were "cupcakes", he was sadly mistaken. Navy has been a respectable team lately, and I saw that upset coming this year. If I were Charlie Weis I'd be saying a novena to St. Jude, saint of the impossible, right about now. He and the Irish need some divine intervention.