Friday, September 28, 2007

Week 4 Praemium Terribilis

The trophies are polished and the red carpet is out.

It’s time for the belated edition of the Week 4 Suckie Awards! I, Henry Gomez, will serve as the guest presenter this week since Mergz has been lost under a pile of paperwork at his office (or perhaps he's been hanging out in cave with an old hermit and his young protégé).

The envelopes please…

The Cumberland Awardnamed in honor of the Cumberland team that took a 220-0 thrashing at the hands of Georgia Tech in 1916, this award honors the team that took the soundest beating of national significance in the past week.

Week 4 Winner – Texas A&M

The 34-17 loss to Miami doesn't look that bad but statistically this game was UGLY for A&M. Losing to a rebuilding and unranked Hurricane squad in a half-empty Orange Bowl on national TV is bad enough but to be held to 240 yards of total offense is terrible considering that lowly FIU, probably the worst team in D1A, garnered 264 against the same defense the week before. Ouch.

Ron Powlus AwardGoes to the nationally anointed one and presumptive *Awardthatcannotbenamed* candidate that didn’t quite live up to his hype during the past week.

Week 4 Winner – Colt Brennan

He didn't play because of an injury. Not his fault but the voters for the *Awardthatcannotbenamed* like to see the candidates play all of their games.

Ron Zook AwardFor the coach who is “always getting better," even if that betterment is not discernable to the rest of us.

Week 4 Winner – Bill Callahan

Bill Callahan once coached in a Super Bowl, how he landed that gig and inherited that team is still one of those things that mystifies me. Since he arrived in Lincoln, the Cornhuskers have been on a perpetual treadmill of "improvement." Last Saturday their defense improved from giving up 49 points in a home loss to USC the week before to giving up 40 in a one-point home win over BALL STATE. Look for more improvement as the season wears on.

Prairie View Awardgiven each week to the specific squad (offense, defense, special teams or otherwise) that distinguishes itself for pure, unadulterated suckiness. The award is named in honor of the Prairie View Panther team that lost a college football record 80 consecutive games during the 1990’s.

Week 4 Winner – Nebraska's Defense

No top team should EVER give up 40 points and 600+ yards to the Cardinals of BALL STATE. The Cardinal QB, Nate Davis went 26 for 43 for 422 yards and 3 TDs. MiQuale Lewis rushed 19 times for 122 yards and a score.

The Blue AwardNamed after September 1, 2007, the date “everything changed”, this award commemorates the team that overcame enormous odds to their undying detriment, thus losing to a team that they ought to have easily handled.

Week 4 Winner - Penn State

If losing to D1A Appalachian State is bad, what the HELL is losing to the team that lost to Appalachian State? Penn State manages just 3 field goals against a defense that didn't even show up against the ASU Mountainers or the Ducks of Oregon.

The Roy Riegels AwardNamed in memory of Cal Bear Roy “Wrong Way” Riegels who while playing in the 1929 Rose Bowl picked up a Georgia Tech fumble and ran for 65 yards – the wrong direction, costing his team the game. This award honors the college football player who committed a blunder of such enormity that it perhaps single-handedly cost his team the game.

Week 4 Winner – Matt Purvis, Iowa State's long snapper

With a 35-30 lead late in the game, a low snap on an a Cyclone punt led to a fumble recovery in the end zone and a TD for Toledo, giving them the one point lead they would need to seal the come from behind win.

Applause, applause!

Congratulations to this week’s Suckie winners.

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