Monday, November 13, 2006

Guest Post from YBF

The following post is satire from my friend, who I'll just call YBF.

These assholes [the Dolphins] are gonna do just enough to win themselves out of the Brady Quinn Sweepstakes. We're gonna miss out on the second coming of Joe fucking Montana because this dipshit of a coach that we have. Guess what Dolfans Daunte Culpepper is done. And now we will be paying Joey Harrington a big salary next year--losing a 5th rounder--and for what? -9-7? 8-8? 7-9? And while I'm on the subject how did Chambers NOT get in the endzone on that pass down the sideline????? Are you kidding me? #1 receiver?

Any way back to my point, welcome to the Cleveland Browns boys! Welcome to the Chicago Cubs. 1973 is 33 years ago and counting. Tomorrow these guys will be grousing about how "everybody" had written them off, about how they can still make the playoffs etc.

Is it me or does the NFL just SUCK? Here's my prediction - we will be listening to this piece of crap coach for the next 6 years talkin' that shit he talks, running reverses and putting the ball in Joey Harrington's hands at critical points in the game. Ronnie Brown should have about 3000 yards by now. SABAN Sucks.

Kuech is absolutely RIGHT! Why did we get rid of Ferotte??? I know, I know Joey Harrington is winning ballgames...whatever. If it wasn't for the fact that this town has jumped the bandwagon and embraced the University of Florida athletic program I don't know what I'd do. I've seen more UF license plates, stickers, etc. over the last few weeks than I ever have. Come to think of it UF paraphernalia is WAAAAAY outnumbering UM stuff around town especially on the "Miami Guy" oversized SUVs. I guess all it took was for UM to lose a couple of games.

That sound you here is UM's ship sinking like the titanic. How ironic that they have that "Titanic Brewing Company" on campus. Man, ever since Shalala demanded a 1.9 GPA and a 700 on the SAT that place has gone to hell.

It's OK canes fans order you're TIM TEBOW jerseys online and wear them proudly no one will be the wiser, I promise. You guys deserve a championship and the Gators are gonna deliver baby, in spades - no pun intended. Nobody will remember you were ever a Canes fan. Throw out the Vinnie Testaverde jersey - or was it Michael Irvin's #47? Whatever, that place is gonna get shut down anyway. And righfully so, I mean what's the point? You wanna identify with the likes of Kyle Wright? C'mon. If we ain't gonna go all the way... well you know.

I just feel bad for Lamar Thomas that's who I really feel sorry for. Oh and Luther Campbell too him and Dan Lebatard. These guys gotta be going through hell.

I was just reading, online, how the most popular jersey in the country is TIM TEBOW's. Guess who's #2? Spurrier's throwback jersey from when he won the Heisman! They actually rank these things on ESPN.com There were 12 Gator jerseys ranked in the top 15. Amazingly the top UM jersey for this month was MIKE RODRIQUE's #5 from 1981.

What a freefall UM is in. If I were a canes fan I would have spit on Kyle Wright's dad too. Hell I would have spit on his mom and his little sister after what that fucker did to the program. I mean somebody's gonna have to explain 'dis shit to Trick Daddy and it aint gonna be me, dog.

I was exaggerating in that last paragraph, but I swear I just got back from TCBY and when I walked in who do you think was at the counter ordering a turtle sundae? A UM football player- I don't know his name but I could tell he was on the football team because of the Rolex Presidential on his wrist and the nine millimeter he was wearing in a shoulder holster. I was a bit nervous but I gathered the courage to ask "yo dog what does the U need to get back to winning champioinships?" He spun around and reached for his piece but when he saw that I was just there to buy a kid's cup of chocolate and vanilla swirl he backed off and without hesitating said "two words baby: TIM TEBOW." I was floored even the UM players are on the Gator Bandwagon. He told me that Baby J himslef was "lookin' into transferring and shit." WOW!

Do yourself a favor and watch a real man
.

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