Tuesday, December 23, 2008

All Family Business

"Today I settled all Family business, so don't tell me you're innocent, Carlo."
Don Michael Corleone to Carlo Rizzi
Godfather Final Scenes – Florida and our rivals, 2008 Version

Our Actors:

The Dons

Urban Meyer as Michael Corleone

Phil Fulmer as Don Anthony “Black Tony” Stracci

Bobby Bowden as Don Ottilo “Leo the Milkman” Cuneo

Mark Richt as Don Phillip Tattaglia

Randy Shannon as Don Emilio Barzini

The Assassins

Tim Tebow as Corleone Family Captain Peter Clemenza

Percy Harvin as Corleone enforcer Al Neri

Aaron Hernandez as Corleone family soldier Willi Cicci

Brandon Spikes as Corleone family soldier Rocco Lampone

Other Notables

Les Miles as Moe Green

Steve Spurrier as Corleone turncoat Salvatore Tessio

SCENE: Florida Field


Do you believe in Offensive Football, and Its Son the Spread Option?


I do.


Do you believe in the Holy Southeast Conference?

I do.

[While Hubert continues OS:]

CUT TO: The Swamp. Shannon’s low rider is parked. Harvin motions to the Cane football player to move the car.

CUT TO: Stairway at Neyland Stadium. Tebow ascends the stairs with his package.

CUT TO: Outside locker room in Jacksonville stadium. Spikes is greeted by a Florida player. They descend steps.

CUT TO: Barbershop. Hernandez exits.

CUT TO: Florida Field. The ceremony continues.

CUT TO: The Swamp. Shannon and a couple of Canes descend the steps as Harvin warms up.

CUT TO: Bobby Bowden Field. Hernandez is ascending the steps. Pauses to lean on railing.

CUT TO: Tebow makes it to the 5th floor elevator, and presses the button.

CUT TO: Massage room. Les Miles is lying on his stomach getting a massage.

CUT TO: Florida Field. The ceremony continues.


Urban Meyer -- do you renounce Saban?

[While the church music continues:]

CUT TO: Neyland Stadium elevator revealing Phil Fulmer and a Tennesse assistant. The door opens and Tebow crushes them both with a forearm shiver that resembles a shotgun blast.

CUT TO: Florida Field.


I do renounce him.

[While the "We are the Boys" music continues:]

CUT TO: Massage room. Gunman opens the door, Miles puts glasses on, gets football in one eye. Dies yelling “I’m Les Miles”.

CUT TO: Florida Field.


And all his works?

CUT TO: Bowden Field. Hernandez ascending steps. Then follows Coach Bowden into a revolving door, locks it, then shoots four times through the glass.

CUT TO: Florida Field.


I do renounce them.

CUT TO: Georgia locker room, Jacksonville Stadium. Spikes kicks open the door and he and another defensive back fill the gap. Coach Richt is on the training table with Knowshon Moreno. Moreno screams Oh God! Oh God! Its HIM AGAIN! as he and Mark Richt are pummeled mercilessly by Spikes.

CUT TO: Florida Field.


And all his pomps?

MEYER (nodding)

I do renounce them.

CUT TO: The Swamp. Harvin stiff arms Shannon’s offensive tackle twice, and his linebacker once, as Shannon turns to run. Harvin makes a move around Shannon, who topples after two passes. Harvin runs in for the score.

CUT TO: Florida Field.


Urban Meyer -- will you be baptized?


I will.

HUBERT’S VOICE (as he pours swamp water on baby's forehead)

In nomine Patri -- et Filii, -- [In the name of the Father -- and the Son --]

CUT TO: Locker room. Richt’s dead body on the training table.

CUT TO: Revolving door. Bowden’s dead body.


-- et Spiritus Sancti [--and the Holy Spirit]

CUT TO: The Swamp. Dead bodies of Shannon and two Cane players.

End Scene

SCENE: Williams Brice Stadium

Williams Brice Stadium, South Carolina. Spurrier and Jeremy Foley outside the stadium. Dan Mullen stops them.


Steve -- Jeremy -- the Boss says he'll come in a separate car. He says for you two to go on


Hell, he can't do that -- it screws up all my arrangements!


Well, that's what he said.

FOLEY (as Florida player steps up)

I can't go either, Steve.

SPURRIER (as he sees a third player steps up)

Tell Urban it was only business. I always liked him.


He understands that.

MULLEN (frisking Spurrier, taking his play book)

Excuse me, Steve...




Jeremy – can you get me off the hook? For Ol’ times sake?


Can’t do it, Stevie.

[Steve nods to players who take Steve to the woodshed. Foley walks inside and pauses to
look out the window]

End Scene

Coming Soon (Hopefully!) - Bobby Stoops as Corleone Son-in-law Carlo Rizzi as he gets to go for a ride with Tebow in the back seat.

1 comment:

jj gator said...

Mergz, The Godfather Trilogy will always be one of my all-time favorite movies. You nailed down the football characterization to a "T" - huge props!