Sunday, January 13, 2008

Go North 'til you smell it, then West 'til you step in it!

Kind readers of Saurian Sagacity, as we get to know one another in the analytical lull that is the frenetic and emotional month before signing day, I have a confession.

I hate f$u....and my father hated f$u before me.

I have hated them since I was 5 years old and it's gotten worse as time has passed. I shake with rage when they win, and am giddy with glee when they lose. I even root for scUM once a year. You will not get one ounce of objectivity out of me about them.

Perhaps it is Bobby Bowden , a despicable cheater who, for reasons unknown, appears to wear the same mantle of invisibility as has cloaked the public perception of Lou Holtz for lo these many years. Bowden is the Satan of college football, lulling generations of good mommas to send their sons to the ruination of his guardianship with his siren song of "dadgums" and false compliments on their cooking. From free shoes to fake scores, the place is corrupt, and he is the architect.

Perhaps it's the close geographical relationship to the capitol; home of that cesspool that is the Florida legislature, from whence they sit giving the finger to all Good Floridians.




Perhaps its that brick facade covering the tinker toy, over-sized high school facility that is Ron Zook field at Joke Campbell Stadium.

Perhaps it is the obliviousness of the free press to Bobby Bowden's sham record as the coach with the most wins in NCAA football history.

Perhaps it is my outrage as a taxpayer stemming from the blatant misuse of state money to build that brick facade by holding a couple of classes in the north end zone when they could not raise the funds from their penny pinching, pathetic alumni to build a first-rate facility.

Perhaps it was the blind-eye of the f$u administration that necessitated the enactment of the "Deion Sanders" rule.

Perhaps it was the comments made by the Asst. AD of compliance during the Adrian McPherson scandal, who justified his absolute failure to document and investigate any of the information admittedly provided to him by saying that such documents might lead to the discovery of criminal conduct. No shit. He should have been the Asst. AD of non-compliance.

Perhaps it is the clever timing, and false internal outrage, of the internal online cheating scandal results.

Perhaps it is the "Glitter Twins." Yes, I'm sure it's the "Glitter Twins."



Perhaps it is the passing resemblance of Bobby Bowden to Woodsy the Owl.

11 comments:

JJ Gator said...

Good article: I hate f$u with a passion and only root for scUM in that one game that we once called "The Thug Bowl", but one thing: PLEASE do not call it "Ron Zook Field". We owe Zook not one thing, and I will not give that loser the benefit of a doubt.

Also, I'm interested in knowing what the NCAA will do to the SOW about the recent "cheating" scandal; if f$u gets away with what amounts to no more than a slap on the wrist we'll know for sure that something isn't kosher. They deserve sanctions; it's about time they paid the price for what was allowed to go on for way too long.

gatorhippy said...

Gator KGB, we're on the same boat...

I to am the product of multi-generational Nole hate...

The sinking ship that is FSU football gives me daily joy...

Keep on keepin' on with the Nole hate...

You'll always have my support...

Mergz said...
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Mergz said...

I suppose we all have our school that conjures up totally irrational undying enmity. For me, its Miami.

I actually root for FSU over Miami. I suppose that comes as a function of living in SoFLA.

Gator Duck said...

I have to agree with jj. Zook does not deserve the credit of "Ron Zook field." He had nothing to do with that win.

However, if it pisses FSU people off just that much more for us to refer to their field by a name of such infamy to Gators, then let it be so!!!

I hate the Felony State free shoes cheatin' criminole heee-a-haws with a passion. Zook 'em...

Gator Boys said...

Wow, I couldnt agree more. My dad went to Miami and I go to UF, so I've always hated FSU. Do UM fans hate UF or FSU more?

Anonymous said...

The picture of the 'middle finger' is actually a picture of a male crotch in building form. Note the round domes on either side.

mlmintampa said...

Perhaps it is my outrage as a taxpayer stemming from the blatant misuse of state money to build that brick facade by holding a couple of classes in the north end zone when they could not raise the funds from their penny pinching, pathetic alumni to build a first-rate facility.

This is their biggest criminal act. UF needs somewhere between 16 and 40 million before summer semester begins due to state cuts, but FSU has a state financed stadium. Screw their football team. I hope FSU gets so far in the toilet that the degrees they hand out are only used to wash cars on street corners.

Gator KGB said...

Regarding the capitol as the male crotch comment...yeah, I've heard the joke played both ways. The shape is scrotal, but the separation and placement are more like knuckles. True to their tradition of incompetency, the Florida legislature couldn't even get their architectural joke right.

Incidentally, GatorDuck has been my favorite avatar for some time. It's just damn funny to see. Regarding the comment, that's exactly why I called it Ron Zook field, a permanent reminder of the humiliation of the naming game. I am no Zook fan, so let's get that noise out of the system.

I am told that my post got us unlinked from a 'Nolie blog as a "neutral" Gator blog. "Neutral Gator" that's an oxymoron of the first order. But, at any rate, it's all good clean fun. You could pop a picture of Urban Meyer next to Simon Cowell and I would be amused. Jeez, a big part of rivalries is, well...behaving like rivals. We can all make fun of each other and still get along. Ultimately, I'm sorry they chose to behave so petulantly and would have enjoyed some return fire.

You don't see any Kansas fans getting upset at all those posters of Mangino eating a cupcake I saw waving around behind the Altar of ESPN on College Gameday.

I hope the petulant 'Nolie comes back............

JJ Gator said...
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JJ Gator said...

I hope we continue to berate and humilate the denizens of the School Out West, a/k/a Florida's Shittiest University. In fact, it is the duty of every true-blue Gator fan to denigrate the nole; even more so, it's GATOR LAW (if you remember the Miller Lite "man law" commercials).

Glad you're in the anti-Zook camp, KGB. I was talking to a computer tech servicing my mainframe at my office; he too shared the same sentiment and basically said "Zook was a disgrace". Now if we could just get the Zook apologists to get deprogrammed from the doctrine known as Zookism.....

Yeah Duck, zook the criminoles, Booby Bowden, the nepotism, their cheating, Dot Com and "Waahchant", the whole friggin' lot of them. Every Gator fan knows:

The sun is orange,
The sky is blue,
F$U SUCKS
and so does the "U"!