Go North 'til you smell it, then West 'til you step in it!

Kind readers of Saurian Sagacity, as we get to know one another in the analytical lull that is the frenetic and emotional month before signing day, I have a confession.

I hate f$u....and my father hated f$u before me.

I have hated them since I was 5 years old and it's gotten worse as time has passed. I shake with rage when they win, and am giddy with glee when they lose. I even root for scUM once a year. You will not get one ounce of objectivity out of me about them.

Perhaps it is Bobby Bowden , a despicable cheater who, for reasons unknown, appears to wear the same mantle of invisibility as has cloaked the public perception of Lou Holtz for lo these many years. Bowden is the Satan of college football, lulling generations of good mommas to send their sons to the ruination of his guardianship with his siren song of "dadgums" and false compliments on their cooking. From free shoes to fake scores, the place is corrupt, and he is the architect.

Perhaps it's the close geographical relationship to the capitol; home of that cesspool that is the Florida legislature, from whence they sit giving the finger to all Good Floridians.




Perhaps its that brick facade covering the tinker toy, over-sized high school facility that is Ron Zook field at Joke Campbell Stadium.

Perhaps it is the obliviousness of the free press to Bobby Bowden's sham record as the coach with the most wins in NCAA football history.

Perhaps it is my outrage as a taxpayer stemming from the blatant misuse of state money to build that brick facade by holding a couple of classes in the north end zone when they could not raise the funds from their penny pinching, pathetic alumni to build a first-rate facility.

Perhaps it was the blind-eye of the f$u administration that necessitated the enactment of the "Deion Sanders" rule.

Perhaps it was the comments made by the Asst. AD of compliance during the Adrian McPherson scandal, who justified his absolute failure to document and investigate any of the information admittedly provided to him by saying that such documents might lead to the discovery of criminal conduct. No shit. He should have been the Asst. AD of non-compliance.

Perhaps it is the clever timing, and false internal outrage, of the internal online cheating scandal results.

Perhaps it is the "Glitter Twins." Yes, I'm sure it's the "Glitter Twins."



Perhaps it is the passing resemblance of Bobby Bowden to Woodsy the Owl.