Skydiving with a golden parachute

Almost as great as my love for the Gators is my hatred for Florida State (which goes way back and isn't just about football or sports). But I do sympathize with FSU fans and alums (like my sister) who have suffered at the hands of Jeff Bowden. But don't feel bad for Jeffy boy, he's getting a nice golden parachute. Please read the hilarious report at EDSBS. Orson even mentions Ron Zook, who he doesn't even dignify by calling by his name, and his generous package courtesy of the University of Florida:

Everyone has their price, though. We understand that [NAME REDACTED] still has his free Applebees’ Gator account card, and racks up riblets like you wouldn’t believe on Jeremy Foley’s tab in Champaign-Urbana. Hey, you think Arrelious Benn committed just for the opportunity to play immediately and the fun of doing bench press challenges with his coach? No way. Sweet riblets brought him to Illini, and we will hear nothing else.*